desertwind

The first trick in defining who you are is becoming aware of your emotional responses. It's your emotions that cause you to react the way you do, so it's important to determine what your emotional triggers are. Most of these stem from programmed responses due to unresolved past issues. When we are unable to release past hurts, angers and resentments, we carry them with us. When a similar situation occurs in the future, we will automatically pull that file and react in a way that is self-protecting... By becoming aware of these emotional reactions, we take a step closer to defining who we are and why we act the way we do.

In addition to remaining aware of what you're projecting onto others, you need to be aware of what you're allowing others to project onto you. Do you absorb everything that comes your way, even if it doesn't belong to you? If so, be careful not to let the emotional responses of others dictate your own reactions. It's easy to become wrapped up in someone else's drama, so start noticing if your emotions are coming from something inside you or if they're a projection of someone else. You have to release the energy that becomes stored within you. How you do that is up to you, just make sure you aren't trying to define someone else's reality before you have a chance to define your own. Choose your battles wisely. Use any unresolved hurt, anger or resentment issues to help you come to terms with what's really going on. It may seem to revolve around another individual, but they are simply the opportunity for you to learn. It all comes down to you...you are the only one responsible for who you are and what you become. It doesn't matter if the other individual agrees. Everyone is on their own path. Allow them their lessons, in their own time. When you bring your focus on your own issues, you're helping yourself and when you help and heal yourself, you become better equipped to help others.

Society is taking a zero tolerance stance. What no longer works is being tossed aside or at least fought with a fevered vengence. Be a part of the solution and use this zero tolerance energy wisely. How are the changes helping you and society as a whole? What are you willing to stand for? Don't be afraid to let your voice be heard, just be aware that you eventually become what you speak, so make decisions that are in the best interest of all involved. Selfish motives no longer work and will be uncovered quickly.

Keep in mind there are times when it's alright to remain quietly aware. When a solution comes, you will know what role you're intended to play. Sometimes, the answer is in the silence. We just don't quiet our minds long enough to hear it.

Another way to define who you are is by the examples you set. Younger generations go through a difficult time when they are trying to find themselves and their purpose in life. They may think they have all the answers, but they don't. Experience will be their teacher and part of those experiences stem from the examples that are set by others, because examples are programmed and followed and become a way of life. Some will argue the "Indigo Children" issue here and I'm not disputing their existence, but not every child being born in today's society is of the Indigo energy. The one's that are will make themselves known early on by their actions. They will be the ones setting the examples and if we're wise, we'll be listening. These are children mature beyond their age, with a wisdom of life that other children will not seem to have. They are an exception to the rule.

Regardless of whether a child is of the Indigo energy or not, positive examples need to be set. If past examples are no longer working, changes need to be made, but always remain aware of what message you're projecting. Future generations depend on it.

Defining who you are is your responsibility and it extends to those around you, so take that responsibility seriously. It's also important you harm no one in the process. If you're spending time working on yourself and your own issues, you'll have less time to judge another. Define who you are first and then bring that example forward, enriching the lives of those around you.

By Dr Jill Ammon-Wexler Does your past history control your life today? How can you tell if your past is having a negative effect on your life today? Try this: Would you kick a dead horse, then get mad when it would not get up and pull your cart down the road? I don't think so! But if you're not achieving the lifestyle you truly desire, it is probable that painful old memories are in control of both your present AND your future. The painful experiences those memories are based on are dead and gone alright. But the minute you bring them back into the present, they also take control of your future. So your cart (your hopes and dreams) just sits right there and does not go anywhere. One certain sign that's happening is if certain situations seem to always trigger the same out-of-control emotional reactions. Many of us just 'fly off' if an old 'pain button' is pushed. You might break into a cold sweat and lose your voice at the mere thought of challenging your superior at work, even though he or she is taking advantage of you. Or you may fly into a rage if someone questions your ability to complete even the most insignificant task. Chances are all of the logical approaches to changing such out-of-control reactions have failed. That is because old memories like these cannot be accessed or controlled using logic. The fact is, they can only be accessed using the power that memorized them in the first place - emotional power. It takes focused, passionate desire to get stuff like this out of your way. Here are some steps you can take to help neutralize the negative of painful past events:

• Reclaim your power.
  The fact is, the past IS PAST. You do not have to deny any unfortunate things that have happened to you. But why would you choose to re-create and re-experience them in the present? You have ALREADY survived those challenges and come out on top. Let it go!
• Stop Blaming.
  The minute you blame someone or something else for your problems or challenges - you literally thrown your own power away. Release your habit of blaming anyone (including yourself) for current frustrations or unhappiness. Blame is unnecessary baggage. It just prevents you from moving forward and findings solutions to your challenges. You can kick that dead horse until you break your foot -- but it still won't get up and pull your cart down the street.
• Forgive and Move On.
  Oh? You made some mistakes? Actually a big part of our intelligence (our all-important associative emotional intelligence) ONLY learns by making mistakes. So stop beating yourself up for your mistakes. This is truly just part of the learning process. No mistakes = zero personal growth. And zero personal growth = more of the same in your life. Just straighten up your tie (or sling your purse over your shoulder) and press on.
• Pick a New Theme Song.
  If you are stuck in a rut in terms of how you feel about yourself and your potential - it's time for a new theme song. This is not a light-weight issue. Become aware of the repetitive thoughts that run through the back of your mind (or the song you are humming to yourself). You'll discover your theme -- the message your subconscious mind is sending you -- based on your past memories. Pick a new, more positive message or theme song. Replace the old one with something more positive and empowered.