desertwind

• Commit it to paper. (Contemplation is not enough)

   

• Start by asking, "What am I willing to have?"

   

• Do not limit what you are willing to have, based on what you think is possible.

   

• This takes practice because we were often taught to censor our creativity and dreams and shrink our vision to 'realistic' results.

   

• Keep your results simple, clear and detailed.

   

• Instead of "making a lot of money" use "I earn xxx a month".

   

• Do not limit what you are willing to have based on how you will get it.

   

• Premature focus on the process, how they can manifest, will restrict the creation of your results.

   

• Ask yourself: "If I could have it, would I take it?"

   

• Involve all your senses in this picture (see it, smell it, touch it,...)

   

• Bring to the picture positive emotions such as joy, fun and excitement.

   

• It takes about 20-25 minutes a day, and is worth the investment of time.

   

• A daily step towards each result ensures that you are not unconsciously being amongst 'those who wait'.

   

• In addition, this daily step speeds up the realization of the desired result faster than you can imagine.

   

By Guy Finley 

Allowing the rushed state of another person to push you into an anxious state of mind is like letting the horse you're about to ride convince you to wear the saddle!

A man who doesn't know his true identity does not know that he doesn't really know. The fact that he is confused, frightened and still searching for himself remains almost totally unsuspected by him because he has unknowingly assumed a false identity.

This temporary, false self feels real because it is animated and driven along by the man's reactions as he seeks himself. The fact that this lower nature is driven does not mean it is alive. A bulldozer rolls along too, but it cannot see or understand why it smashes into things. It is a machine. So, in many ways, is the false self.

The false self is fueled by negative emotional reactions which, in turn, are kept firing by habitual incorrect thinking. The very existence of the false self depends on keeping you off balance and looking in the wrong direction. Start seeing through its games by learning to let go of all the familiar but self-abandoning answers it wants you to believe in. Own your own life. Use the following special exercise for Higher Self-Recovery.

For True Self-Command Just Stop, Look, and Listen
The internal crimes of the false self routinely go on unchecked. This is why, if we ever want to arrest this inner thief of real life, we must learn to STOP, LOOK, and LISTEN. This inner-exercise for true self-command is guaranteed to shut down the covert answers and operation of the false self.

The next time that you are feeling anxious -- or afraid or worried about a problem you are facing -- before you do anything: STOP, LOOK, and LISTEN.

Remember that the false self is never far away when you are feeling bad. It knows that once it can get you running in the direction of its choice, sheer momentum will do the rest of its work. That is why you come to a STOP first. Dare to defy the inner-shouts that are trying to spur you on. Don't give them any authority. They are just noises; bad ones at that. Treat them as such.

Then LOOK. But be sure to look in the right direction. This is critical. Look at what is talking to you, not where it is pointing. This way you won't ever be fooled again and sent on another wild goose chase. So take a real good look. If it is an anxious or unhappy feeling that you are looking at, quietly determine from your own understanding that no negative state is interested in ending itself. This will help you to take the third and last step.

Now LISTEN. If you have done the first two steps correctly, you will soon witness the false self start having a fit. Let it rage. That is all it can do. It has no power. Its only strength was in your past ignorance of just how truly powerless it was. Just remain right there, inwardly alert and attentive. Your work is done. In the past you might have let these deceptive dark feelings guide you, but now you see through their tricks. In time their roar will dwindle to a whimper and then completely disappear.

You now know that for the first time in your life you have won a true victory for yourself. At last you have deposited something of true value in the most important bank of all -- the bank of your own understanding. And believe me, this account pays interest of the Highest kind.

And what about that nagging personal problem? To your great relief you will discover that it wasn't at all what the false self was trying to make you believe. The problem you are left to solve, assuming one still exists after this lying lower nature has been thrown out, doesn't even resemble the fearsome giant that had been stalking you earlier. The false self can throw terrifying shadows but now you can cast Inner Light. There is no contest.

Top Ten Tips: How to Let Go a Little" by Alexandra Watson:

1. Give yourself permission
2. Know that letting go doesn't mean losing out
3. Stop saying, "but what if"
4. Have faith that your destiny will be great
5. Focus on what you already have
6. Share the load with a willing person
7. If you cannot control or change it, forget it
8. Accept your limitations
9. Forgive and forget
10. Enjoy and cherish the moment

Bad Choices Can Lead to Good Ones!

by Deborah Brown-Volkman 

Your career is a series of choices. Some are good, and some are not so good. But either way, you are the person doing the choosing. At times it may feel like you have no choice, or someone else is making the choices for you, but the truth is you have more power over what you choose than you think you do.

What's going on in your career? Frustration? Boredom? Exhaustion? Things we all deal with in today's workplace. (It's good to know that you are not alone.)

If your career is not where you want it to be, it's up to you to do something about it. The old cliché, "Good things come to those who wait," hurts more than it helps. It gets you off the hook because you believe things will happen on their own over time. Action is what gets results. Not waiting.

So what are you choosing? Are you choosing to work on making more money or quietly wishing a raise will come to you? Are you choosing to update your resume or letting being busy prevail? Are you actively choosing to discover what your true passion is, or are you hoping the answer will magically appear? The choices you make today will determine whether you are happy or not tomorrow.

In order to go forward, sometimes you have to go back. Once you can accept where you have been, then you can make plans to move forward. Look at your career. Where have your choices led you?

1. Have Bad Choices Led To Regret?

Everyone has something in their career they wish they'd done differently. Maybe you misspoke in an interview or a meeting and you blew an opportunity. Maybe you could have negotiated a bigger salary, but you did not. Maybe you ran into someone in your career who could have helped you move to greater heights, but you failed to ask for help. Again, know that you are not alone. Bad choices are something we all share. It's not what happens to you in your career that matters, but how you recover from it. Have you moved on, or are you replaying every moment over again in your mind? Replays are for sports, not for your career. Let it go so you can move on to something better.

2. Have Bad Choices Led To A Bad Attitude?

Are you fun to be around? Or do people ignore you? What kind of vibe are you sending at work or on interviews? Believe you are hiding a bad attitude? Your belief is wrong. People can pick it up from a mile away. No one can hide unhappiness or anger. You may think that you have a right to be gloomy, but the person you are hurting the most is you. No one cares that you are upset. They do care that you are being difficult. Want to shake things up in your career and see real results? Become a more positive person. This one act alone can transform your career.

3. Have Bad Choices Led To Fear?

What are you afraid of? Afraid to ask for more money or resources? Afraid to speak up in meetings? Afraid to call people you know to see if they have a job opportunity for you? Afraid to go after your passion? Fear is normal. You wouldn't be alive without it. But there is a difference between being afraid and letting fear paralyze you. Even though you are busy, you know yourself pretty well. You know when fear is getting in the way. The question is... what will you do about it? Will you let fear win or not?

4. Start Making Good Choices

Until you make better choices, your old choices will continue to haunt you. Start today by making one good choice. One choice will lead to two and so on. You have to start somewhere, so start where you are right now. Good choices made over time will lead you to a more fulfilling career.

So, what do you say? You only have one life to live, so it might as well be a life you love!

By Lori Radun

With each changing season, it's a time to reflect on the past and make plans for the future. The seasons of the year can be compared to various cycles of our life. When I think of spring, it reminds me of new growth, opening up, and coming out into the world. Summer is time for sunshine and playtime - many of us vacation and enjoy fun activities. Fall marks change and preparation for the colder months. As winter approaches, our focus shifts to warmth and indoor pastimes like blazing fires, board games and snuggling.

Not every corner of the world enjoys the dramatic shifts in the seasons, but we can all use the changing seasons as a way to purge the old and start fresh. Use this six step process at the end of each season and transform yourself and your life in new and exciting ways.

1. Clear Out the Old
Old what? Get rid of old clothes you and other family members no longer wear. Throw out or donate old items you do not use. Clearing out the old involves a process of decluttering every aspect of your life. Not only should you declutter your environments, but also your relationships and yourself as well. What old patterns or beliefs no longer serve you? What old behaviors or habits interfere with your goals in life? It's time to cast them out of your life. What relationships in your life are you struggling with? Maybe there are old arguments that need to be put to rest, or old feelings that need to be resolved. By purging the old, you make room for new growth to take place.

2. Take Time to Rejuvenate
End and begin each new season with a getaway that refreshes you physically, emotionally and spiritually. Take a long weekend by yourself or with a special person that fills you up. Do things you don't normally do for yourself. I recently spent a three day weekend with my mom - just the two of us. We shopped, talked over tea, and watched movies. One day we stopped for a manicure and luxurious pedicure. For me, it was like heaven to sit in a huge massage chair with my feet dipped in warm, bubbly water. Taking time to rejuvenate gives you energy and a fresh outlook on life.

3. Reorganize Your Life
Organization does wonders for your life. It simplifies, energizes and generally makes life run smoother. Take a look around your home. What needs better organization? Cabinets, drawers and closets are usually an excellent place to start. I recently reorganized my office. I rearranged the furniture, added more storage, updated my filing system and hung new pictures on the walls. For me, it helps me gear up for a busy speaking season and clears my mind to create new ideas. Reorganization can also involve creating new routines in your life. Now is the time to introduce a morning routine, chore routine, after school routine or any other new routine that would help manage your life.

4. Try on a New Focus
With a new season comes an opportunity to try new things or focus on something different. The purpose of this process is to grow and stretch you in ways that will bring about positive change in your life. Pick an area in yourself that you would like to develop. Perhaps you'd like to learn a new skill or take up a new hobby. Maybe you're tired of living in fear and you'd like to cultivate courage. Perhaps your marriage could benefit from better communication or conflict resolution skills. This season another coaching peer and I have decided to work through a book together that will help each of us examine our personal relationship with money. Whatever it is, make a commitment to educate yourself, engage in personal discovery, and mature in your new focus.

5. Renew Commitments
Do you have commitments you've made to yourself or other people that have fallen by the wayside? Commitments to be on time, exercise regularly, eat healthier, and stop procrastinating are all examples of promises that can be renewed. We don't have to wait for a new year - a new season (or any other time, for that matter) is an excellent time to start anew. What commitments did you keep last season that you want to continue? I kept a very detailed and organized work schedule that significantly helped balance my life. I am committing to continue that in the new season. Take time to think about your life and the intentions you want to set for the coming season.

6. Set Goals
How do we incorporate all these new changes into our life? We set goals that enable us to reorganize, recommit, and refocus on growth. Looking ahead to the end of this next season, what would you like to accomplish by then? Make a list of 3-5 goals to focus on for the new season. Make your goals specific. I want to organize all my closets. Your goals should be measurable. I want to lose weight vs. I want to lose 20 pounds. Set goals that are reasonable and achievable. Ask yourself if your goals are realistic. Anticipate any obstacles that may stand in the way of achieving your goals - make plans to conquer those obstacles. Lastly, make sure your goals are time-oriented. Set an exact date your goals will be attained. By setting goals and mapping out the tasks it will take to accomplish these goals, you are increasing your chances of creating what you want.

The changing season is a new beginning - an opportunity to recreate your life.

By Laura Howard

Cheryl Richardson, a favorite author and fellow coach, has written a new book called "Stand Up for Your Life". In this book she talks about how our society tends to "bond over stress instead of success". I see this in action every day in my own life and in the lives of my clients.

We tend to give each other permission to complain freely- it's actually become the way we interact with others. It's OK to compare stresses or say something negative to a total stranger for the sake of opening a conversation and relating to each other. For example, you get in the elevator on a rainy day, "Some storm! Traffic was terrible!". We feel free to talk about what's wrong with everything from traffic, weather, the kids, the husband/wife, work, the messy house to crowded/late flights.

So what's wrong with this you might ask? Well, it creates constant whining and complaining if you're not careful!! While each of these little snippets of conversation seem meaningless, when you look at an entire day it can really add up to a negative outlook on life. With this negative way of thinking it can be hard to believe in our dreams, be truly happy and feel gratitude for our life.

We tend to look for evidence of life being hard/bad/difficult so we can share it with someone or to prove our point. I know I've been a creator of my own "negative spiral". I have gone through a day looking for evidence to support how tough my life is. I awaken with a sinus headache and immediately think it's going to be a "bad day" and then I find all the proof I need...there's traffic, I'm out of gas, I forgot the baby bottles, I'm late, etc... When we keep our focus on looking for this evidence it's no surprise that we do in fact have a bad day.

What if you started a conversation with a success? Something like..."Hey, the greatest thing happened today.....I got a new client, how about those beautiful flowers out front, or I made the best dinner last night!" What if you started looking for evidence of "Having a Great Day".

Recently Psychology Today reported how a positive attitude can help you live longer because you feel like you have more control over your life. Your energy will amp up because you are choosing to not focus on your life using the media mentality of "the sky is always falling". And in the simplest of terms...the smile on your face is more likely to put a smile on someone else's face!

When was the last time you actually encouraged someone to talk about what's going well in their life? We naturally do this with our kids. We listen while they tell us how they made a slam dunk or read a new word. I often ask my son, Nicholas," What's the most awesome thing that happened to you today?" I get the best answers! It's usually funny which makes me laugh and it definitely makes me feel like we shared something real about his day.

A friend of mine, Sherean, has that positive outlook on life and for the people who are in her life. She fully believes that I am creative, resourceful and fully capable of doing anything I want to do. She values my opinions, encourages my ideas, and I can talk about my success (yes, even brag - oh my!). She lets me "shine my light" when we're together. Just planning a lunch with her gets me in such a good mood. My creative juices go into overdrive and my energy sparks just knowing that it's such a supportive alliance. In fact, by letting me shine it gives her permission to do the same and the value is multiplied! It always results in an incredibly uplifting and motivating conversation that carries into the rest of our day.

We certainly need to have the support of close friends and family who we can let it all hang out with - it's helpful to be able to ponder and process the difficulties in life and share solutions. But we can also choose our focus.

So where are you focusing your attention in your life? How does this support your vision for how you want your life to be?

LIFE SKILLS : 4 Ways to Increase Your Awareness and Change Your Attitude

1. For the rest of the day, notice how often you bond with others over complaining about something. Just by noticing you create an awareness of your behavior and that alone can lead to inspired change.

2. Play a game for one day and don't say anything negative. No whining. No complaining. No bonding over stress. Notice how you feel in this situation. Some people find this really hard to do. There can be a bit of panic....now what do we talk about??

3. Next idea....Think of something positive to say AND say it! Say it to the cashier, to the drive through attendant when getting coffee, to the person in the elevator, to your boss, to your coworker at lunch, to your girlfriend...

4. Give someone else permission to shine. Ask them a questions like: What was the best part of your day? What energizes you? Tell me something good! So, what great thing did your son do today? Know that when you do, at the least, you'll feel good and maybe, some of the light will rub off and you'll find increased energy and inspiration - you'll feel good!!

Copyright 2006 Laura Howard

The first trick in defining who you are is becoming aware of your emotional responses. It's your emotions that cause you to react the way you do, so it's important to determine what your emotional triggers are. Most of these stem from programmed responses due to unresolved past issues. When we are unable to release past hurts, angers and resentments, we carry them with us. When a similar situation occurs in the future, we will automatically pull that file and react in a way that is self-protecting... By becoming aware of these emotional reactions, we take a step closer to defining who we are and why we act the way we do.

In addition to remaining aware of what you're projecting onto others, you need to be aware of what you're allowing others to project onto you. Do you absorb everything that comes your way, even if it doesn't belong to you? If so, be careful not to let the emotional responses of others dictate your own reactions. It's easy to become wrapped up in someone else's drama, so start noticing if your emotions are coming from something inside you or if they're a projection of someone else. You have to release the energy that becomes stored within you. How you do that is up to you, just make sure you aren't trying to define someone else's reality before you have a chance to define your own. Choose your battles wisely. Use any unresolved hurt, anger or resentment issues to help you come to terms with what's really going on. It may seem to revolve around another individual, but they are simply the opportunity for you to learn. It all comes down to you...you are the only one responsible for who you are and what you become. It doesn't matter if the other individual agrees. Everyone is on their own path. Allow them their lessons, in their own time. When you bring your focus on your own issues, you're helping yourself and when you help and heal yourself, you become better equipped to help others.

Society is taking a zero tolerance stance. What no longer works is being tossed aside or at least fought with a fevered vengence. Be a part of the solution and use this zero tolerance energy wisely. How are the changes helping you and society as a whole? What are you willing to stand for? Don't be afraid to let your voice be heard, just be aware that you eventually become what you speak, so make decisions that are in the best interest of all involved. Selfish motives no longer work and will be uncovered quickly.

Keep in mind there are times when it's alright to remain quietly aware. When a solution comes, you will know what role you're intended to play. Sometimes, the answer is in the silence. We just don't quiet our minds long enough to hear it.

Another way to define who you are is by the examples you set. Younger generations go through a difficult time when they are trying to find themselves and their purpose in life. They may think they have all the answers, but they don't. Experience will be their teacher and part of those experiences stem from the examples that are set by others, because examples are programmed and followed and become a way of life. Some will argue the "Indigo Children" issue here and I'm not disputing their existence, but not every child being born in today's society is of the Indigo energy. The one's that are will make themselves known early on by their actions. They will be the ones setting the examples and if we're wise, we'll be listening. These are children mature beyond their age, with a wisdom of life that other children will not seem to have. They are an exception to the rule.

Regardless of whether a child is of the Indigo energy or not, positive examples need to be set. If past examples are no longer working, changes need to be made, but always remain aware of what message you're projecting. Future generations depend on it.

Defining who you are is your responsibility and it extends to those around you, so take that responsibility seriously. It's also important you harm no one in the process. If you're spending time working on yourself and your own issues, you'll have less time to judge another. Define who you are first and then bring that example forward, enriching the lives of those around you.

By Dr Jill Ammon-Wexler Does your past history control your life today? How can you tell if your past is having a negative effect on your life today? Try this: Would you kick a dead horse, then get mad when it would not get up and pull your cart down the road? I don't think so! But if you're not achieving the lifestyle you truly desire, it is probable that painful old memories are in control of both your present AND your future. The painful experiences those memories are based on are dead and gone alright. But the minute you bring them back into the present, they also take control of your future. So your cart (your hopes and dreams) just sits right there and does not go anywhere. One certain sign that's happening is if certain situations seem to always trigger the same out-of-control emotional reactions. Many of us just 'fly off' if an old 'pain button' is pushed. You might break into a cold sweat and lose your voice at the mere thought of challenging your superior at work, even though he or she is taking advantage of you. Or you may fly into a rage if someone questions your ability to complete even the most insignificant task. Chances are all of the logical approaches to changing such out-of-control reactions have failed. That is because old memories like these cannot be accessed or controlled using logic. The fact is, they can only be accessed using the power that memorized them in the first place - emotional power. It takes focused, passionate desire to get stuff like this out of your way. Here are some steps you can take to help neutralize the negative of painful past events:

• Reclaim your power.
  The fact is, the past IS PAST. You do not have to deny any unfortunate things that have happened to you. But why would you choose to re-create and re-experience them in the present? You have ALREADY survived those challenges and come out on top. Let it go!
• Stop Blaming.
  The minute you blame someone or something else for your problems or challenges - you literally thrown your own power away. Release your habit of blaming anyone (including yourself) for current frustrations or unhappiness. Blame is unnecessary baggage. It just prevents you from moving forward and findings solutions to your challenges. You can kick that dead horse until you break your foot -- but it still won't get up and pull your cart down the street.
• Forgive and Move On.
  Oh? You made some mistakes? Actually a big part of our intelligence (our all-important associative emotional intelligence) ONLY learns by making mistakes. So stop beating yourself up for your mistakes. This is truly just part of the learning process. No mistakes = zero personal growth. And zero personal growth = more of the same in your life. Just straighten up your tie (or sling your purse over your shoulder) and press on.
• Pick a New Theme Song.
  If you are stuck in a rut in terms of how you feel about yourself and your potential - it's time for a new theme song. This is not a light-weight issue. Become aware of the repetitive thoughts that run through the back of your mind (or the song you are humming to yourself). You'll discover your theme -- the message your subconscious mind is sending you -- based on your past memories. Pick a new, more positive message or theme song. Replace the old one with something more positive and empowered.

While aspects of you encourage, "Go for your dreams," simultaneously other parts threaten, "Don't you dare." A cast of characters lives inside of you and at different times you may receive conflicting or contradictory messages. If you want to be happy, successful, and fulfilled, consider putting your "dreamer" in the director's chair.

What are the voices inside of you saying? As you turn the volume up on the voice of your dreamer and down on the voice of your doubter, you can practice discernment allowing for greater clarity. To assist you in hearing these voices, let's set up a simple scenario. Picture something you want, something that matters to you. Choose a personal or professional dream and consider how these various parts of you might respond.

• Dreamer - The dreamer inside says, "What if..." and is open to a creative process without over-analyzing it. This is the part of you that imagines, believes in possibilities, has hope, and seeks kindred spirits. Dreamers talk about their ideas with intention, clarity, and passion. Great dreamers get others excited about their vision. And most importantly, successful dreamers take action to make their dreams a reality.

   

• Doubter - This voice is often heard saying such things as, "I don't think this is a good idea." The doubter provides concern touting, "But what if..." and imagines the worst. If you crank the volume up it can even become annihilating with accusations shouting things like, "Are you out of your mind?" William Shakespeare said, "Our doubts are traitors." Carlos Castaneda said, "In order to experience the magic of life, you must banish the doubt." My favorite quote on this subject is in The Prophet where Kahlil Gibran wrote, "Doubt is a feeling too lonely to know that Faith is its twin brother."

   

• Realist - "Be realistic..." Modulate the doubter down a notch or two and it becomes the essential voice of the realist. This part wants to know, "What's the plan?" including where is the time and money coming from. However, in the early phase of dreaming, you may not know. The challenge is not to allow the realist to immediately turn into a doubter who might judge or obliterate your idea. Honor this voice by (to the best of your ability) giving it the information it needs. If you ignore or reject it, it will cleverly agitate or distract you. Being realistic offers prudence and makes you do your homework but if you are overly realistic or go to strategy too soon, you will most likely compromise the dream and kill your passion.

   

• Visionary - This voice says, "Anything is possible so let's dream big!" These are the leaders and people we look up to and admire. They have learned the process of realizing their dreams and embody what it means to be a big dreamer. Setbacks or failures do not stop them. Simply put, a visionary has a vision and invites others to join them. They are found in all walks of life and we are often so inspired when we are in the presence of a true visionary that we sign up just to be near them or part of what they're doing.

  A visionary is not defined by the size of the dream since dreams are precious and come in all sizes, shapes and areas of life. If you were living your dream life, how would it be different? What do you see yourself doing? How many lives would you touch? What would you change? Who would you help if you were truly living as a visionary?

Here's a simple technique for avoiding this sabotaging pattern. On a piece of paper draw a line across the middle. On the top half write out your dream with as much detail as possible. On the bottom write out your reality in relationship to your dream, where you are now. Reality usually includes good news and (so called) bad, as well as any fear or doubt you may have. Just state the facts and your feelings about them.

Now, which one are you more committed to; your dream or your reality? We tend to choose "reality" when we don't have a clearly defined dream or when we saturate our dream with doubt. If your dream is loaded with your worst imagined nightmares, reality will always seem safer and saner. But doubt placed appropriately as part of your reality, allows two things to happen. First, no longer blown out of proportion, it's an obstacle that basically requires a strategy to manage it. But more importantly, with doubt where it rightfully belongs, you are free to move forward.

It's like a play. All the characters have wisdom and insight, but you can't clearly understand them when they're speaking at once. Take time to tune in, to listen, and on a regular basis, have the courage to give your dreamer its directorial debut or even the leading role.

The worst response to criticism is to become angry, insulted and defensive. For by doing so, you actually give more power and credibility to that criticism.

Instead, listen carefully and appreciatively to what your critics have to say. Even if the criticism is decidedly negative, somewhere there are positive insights that you can gain from it.

Don't let your ego prevent you from learning something valuable. Being receptive to criticism strengthens your confidence and can improve your competence.

Choose to know and understand what others think of you. Instead of getting angry and defensive over the words of others, choose to listen, consider and grow stronger because of them.

-- Ralph Marston